Ambien. No doubt about it.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Randomize