We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
