about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
