Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
