He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
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