I'm drive I can fine osifer
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
