I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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