Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize