She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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