I wanna bring you to show and tell
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
