Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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