sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize