This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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