I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
People with herpes should wear stickers.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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