If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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