You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
