no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
