the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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