so explain again why im purple
no
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
