at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize