Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
