census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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