I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
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