Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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