I'm lost and stupid without you.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
This baby is an asshole
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
