dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Randomize
