well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
