if i can run in heels then i can drive
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
