gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
