Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
