All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
She's not a foreskin expert like you
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
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