Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
