the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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