her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
