If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
