just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
The uberlube is also flammable
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
