I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
