I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
