Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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