if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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