You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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