batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
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