And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
Randomize
