my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
