you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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