So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize