awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
