Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
So many bounce houses so little time
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
