We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
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