Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Randomize
