listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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