I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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