At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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