i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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