And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
