You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
