Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
